Thursday, 26 July 2012

27. confronting demons

I've always held that if you confront a demon it - nearly - always isn't as bad as you expect.
Of course, there is the odd occasion when it is.  Like last night.  I did it - I stood on stage and sang with only 3 other people.  In front of an audience.  And it all went wrong.

So, its all OK, it was hell at the time, but I know now that I cant do it, and thats a freedom in itself - its no longer something lurking around in my subconscious as something I should push myself to do.  It was only ever going to be a one off, never something I wanted to do again.  And take great comfort that if this demon got me, the next one wont!!!

Flood damage at first assessment is minimal, but its finding out what caused it - thats the challenge - and sorting out how to put it right and whether its something the insurance will pay for.  Apparently I have to tell them about it even if I dont make a claim.  Lets hope they don't note that I'm a flood risk and raise my premiums up to the skies or even refuse to insure me.

It will delay my departure for my big walk, planned for next week, but thats OK.  My son is coming for a couple of days which will be lovely, and if I need to do half the walk now and half in the spring that will be OK too.

Maybe its time I stopped rushing at life and trying to get everything done yesterday and just start to enjoy whats in front of me instead of always reaching beyond my comfort zone.

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